Down to the wire

Election day is getting close so now is the time to make sure no one wavers. 

The majority will be ours as long as everyone, in the tradition of true Conservatives, keeps their ears covered and their eyes closed until May 2. Fellow sheeple, you must do everything in your power to avoid talking to anyone that may attempt to talk some sense into you change your mind.

Ignore the polls. Turn off the TV. Stop reading the newspaper. These are all tools that the left wing media uses to try to trick you into switching your vote. 

It is very important that at this time you must absolutely ignore the NDP.

These socialists want to ruin the country by not spending billions and billions on new fighter aircraft and instead spending billions and billions on health care. Really? What Canadian wants that? 

Then they want to actually try and do something on the environment. C'mon. What is wrong with the environment? Global warming will be good for Canada.  With the Tory party you can be assured of warmer winters, drier summers and a longer growing season for our Western farmers. Talk about a win, win, win.

I could go on and on (but with your short attention span, none of you would read it anyway), but you get the point. Only the Tory party with its invisible campaign and its promise to do absolutely nothing if elected, other than give you many, many tiny tax cuts for everything you do that is, can be trusted to govern you. Since we have promised to do nothing you know, based on the previous 5 years, that we will succeed in keeping our promise to you, the sheeple of Canada. What other party can say that?

So remember - on May 2, if at all possible stay inside, do not go out, and do not let anyone talk you out of your decision to support PM Harper and the Tory party.